I have been a stay at home mom for over 10years now and along the way I have encountered different reactions from different folks about this decision especially from other moms who are “working moms”(sadly a fact) in this case. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with a woman working outside the home if they need to but personally, I appreciate the fact that I am able to fully be present in all the details of our children’s lives as they grow (which is really a short while).
That being said, there are so many misconception about stay at home moms;
- Lazy; most folks at least those I have encountered often think or assume that stay at home moms are lazy. Perhaps sit around in their pajamas all day. Wrong, wrong and wrong! For the past 10years plus that I have been a stay at home mom, I don’t remember one single day that I had a moment to be lazy; physically and mentally. I have home schooled our kids, I take care of our home (keeping it very clean and enjoyable for our family and guests), I have done more school along the way, had side hustles (which most stay at home moms do), stayed on top of our budget (you could call me the family secretary), kept our family schedule and continued to support my beloved husband’s Engineering career that has thrived. I don’t know how anyone could call that “lazy”.
- Uneducated; yes, many often think as stay at home moms, we have no education or nothing to offer the work world. I live in a big homeschooling community where I have been blessed to meet all sorts of stay at home moms; Nurses, teachers, journalists, engineers and many more (smart women according to society) but have chosen to pour their lives into their families for this season of their lives. We are smart and capable of so much. Despite that, we choose to serve our families as stay at home moms and are thankful for it.
- Been forced to stay home by husbands; I know of folks who strongly believe that stay at home moms are manipulated into doing so by their husbands. This is so far from the truth. At least in our family, both my husband and I try to use common sense about what works best to get things done as a unit. We divide and conquer! My husband never asked me to stay at home. We talked and agreed on what was best for us. In my case, I didn’t have a mother growing up and so it was and still is very important that I practically stay present as much as I can in the lives of my children. I have never, ever missed a single milestone and for that I am very thankful.
- Bored; this is in fact laughable; I can’t think of a moment that I have felt bored in the past 10 plus years of being a stay at home mom. Given the fact that I am wife, mom, teacher, caregiver, secretary and many more to our family, my mind is always spinning with ideas perhaps even in my sleep and I wouldn’t change that for anything.
- Have no schedule or plan for our day to day; I have actually found myself very offended when out of the blue my “working moms” call me in an instant asking me “the stay at home mom” to babysit for them so they can go for their business meetings!!!!. This gets to me every time. As stay at home moms, most don’t realize that we actually do have a schedule and goals to accomplish especially for those of us that home school our children. I personally feel that if parents (both parents) have chosen to pursue their careers, they ought to have a plan for their children and not count on us stay at home moms (whom in most cases) are under appreciated by most of these folks.
- Broke and desperate; this one is actually very funny. Despite the fact that I didn’t want to believe it, my closest girlfriend who is 100% debt-free(including their home) was asked if she could babysit for this working mom so she could earn $20 and a dozen eggs for two kids per week. She didn’t know either how to process this one; whether to be offended or laugh it off. With that being said, I have come to realize that some folks do believe that as stay at home moms, we are so desperate and broke and are always waiting for handouts. That is so far from the truth. Families with stay at home moms are as regular as any other and it makes financial sense to have one of us at home with the children. We are not naive about finances either.
- We miss out on the fun; honestly, this couldn’t be far from the truth. What’s more fun than watching and being part of a growing child/children? As stay at home moms, we get to experience all the silly, Goofy and funny stages of our children’s lives and yes, we’ll have stories (detailed stories to tell) when they are older and that to me is real fun.
- We live in pajamas; nope!!!. We actually do take showers (we have the time) and get dressed for the day.
In the end, it’s a blessing to be a parent and in this case a mom. I know it may not work for everyone but it works for us and we are thankful.
Being a stay at home mom has been a blessing that I would never, ever trade for anything and I hope more folks will start to appreciate mothers or parents that take a step towards this choice. We give up so much but yet we give so much to our children when we pour our hearts/time into raising them.