marriage · Our Life

Marriage; two handed circle

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Whether you have been married for a day, a year or perhaps years, this is an aspect we all ought to think about or perhaps implement in our marriages.

My husband and I have been married coming to eleven years and I have personally had to learn the hard way not to add anybody else in our two handed circle.

What do I mean? Involving those close to us in our marital affairs especially during those moments when we were not on the same page about somethings. You see, it can be very tempting especially when you first get married to run to one’s parents, close friends or siblings for opinions during any frustrations in your marriage. I know in the past I have been that naive girl/woman that ran straight to parents just because I needed to “vent” or complain about the smallest of issues.

Well, one would wonder what’s wrong with running to your parents to talk about your heart issues? Well, everything about that idea is wrong. When we make the decision to get married, there ought to be a Crystal clear line between extended family and our marriage; something most of us learn after some time or perhaps after many, many mistakes. Everything is between the two unless of course the church leadership or authority is necessary.

As I get older, in fact I find it unloving and belittling to my husband/spouse to share our marital issues (which are non-existent thankfully) with extended family. Truth is, it is completely none of their business. After all, we are two adults that can reason well together, discuss anything that may arise but most importantly know to get on our knees and pray through any difficult seasons that may arise.

As married couples we vowed to leave our parents/families and to cleave to our spouses “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24); just the two of us. That marriage was/is not intended to be an open conference discussion where everyone and anyone has a say or an opinion.

With extra opinions outside the marriage, if one is careful enough to notice, there is bound to be lies, pain or shuttering of a beautiful marriage.

But, there’s a way forward. A beautiful marriage union that is honoring to God can move forward or perhaps be salvaged in this broken world by two broken humans;

Remember you are married to a sinner; aren’t we all?

Remember that beautiful day that gave you butterflies.

Remember the vows made to your spouse before God.

Remember to forgive your spouse over and over even in seasons that may seem hard.

Learn to talk in your marriage.

Learn to listen to each other in your marriage.

Learn to have Grace for one another.

Learn to cling tightly to that person you married; its love not hate that brought y’all together.

But most importantly, remember to take everything to the Lord in prayer do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” (Philippians 4:6) and reminding each other of the truth clearly written in scripture on how God designed marriage in the first place; a man and a woman leaving their parents and working as one.

For parents out there, I hope and pray that you will always encourage your children towards the truth of how marriage is designed by God, encouraging them to cleave to one another instead of running back to you.

Once again, marriage is a beautiful union that I am thankful to have the opportunity to experience with the one I love and adore.

 

 

7 thoughts on “Marriage; two handed circle

  1. Kim and I have been married for 43 years and the first 2 years we were in West Germany – completely cut off from our families in the U.S. These were great years to learn about and grow in love with each other. Taught us about us. great thoughts.

  2. Good advice! Something I learned recently from a minister is that marriage is a holy covenant between husband and wife. We do not have a covenant relationship with anyone else but our spouse and God! That is how valuable marriages are to God! Now I give my marriage more honor, more importance, more value, than I ever had before.

  3. These are such important reminders! Many couples make the mistake of letting too many people into their relationship. It’s important not to air out dirty laundry on social media too. “If your brother commits a sin, go and reveal his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” (Matthew 18:15) This especially works in marriage. By talking to others about marital issues we can stifle our own growth as a couple. Men also can see this as a sign of distrust and disrespect. “Nevertheless, each one of you must love his wife as he does himself; on the other hand, the wife should have deep respect for her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33)

  4. This is such a beautiful post. Another scripture that has helped my loved ones is Ephesians 5:28,29,33 where a man and women are to treat each other with honor and deep respect. Its definitely a battle worth fighting for the one you love and are in love with. May you have many more years of bliss.

  5. For a marriage to thrive Jehovah needs to be involved in the relationship/marriage. His word says – A threefold coed cannot quickly be torn in two. Eccl. 4:12
    This includes a husband and wife, the first two strands,who are inter winded with the central strand Jehovah God.
    Being united with God gives couples the spiritual strength to cope with problems and it is the key to achieving the greatest happiness in a marriage.

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