Today I took some time to look through our wedding album, something I have been avoiding for quite some time. I love remembering that beautiful day but yet our wedding album holds many memories; good and bad;
- Faces that are no more; our wedding was at my paternal grandma’s. In her backyard to be exact and that was a dream come true for me. It was very important to me that my grandma attends our wedding in a very comfortable way. This did just that and I am forever thankful. Today as I flip through this album, I see my grandma’s face who has since passed on. I sometimes wish I had made my day more about her; celebrating her more.
- Celebration of love and God’s goodness. At our wedding were many faces that watched me grow up. But one face; the most important was my groom’s. Trusting me enough to travel from west Texas to western Uganda; my village to take our vows. I look at this to this day and I am thankful for my man/my groom.
- Sorrow; I know wedding days are supposed to be one of the happiest day of one’s life and that was true for me. But yet on that same day, I was hurting. I hurt for not having had the joy of sharing that day with my mother. In fact, in a way I felt lonely. I felt practically Motherless and flipping through our wedding album, I see it in my eyes. I see a Motherless girl.
- Disappointment; just like many circumstances in this broken world, it’s sad to say that somehow I found myself disappointed on our wedding day. I realized then that I couldn’t count on the people that I thought I ought to. I found myself feeled with sadness but I am thankful that circumstances like that pushed me to remember that my trust ought to fully be in Christ. Human beings will fail me again and again. Christ will never live me alone and His promises stand forever.
- Empty seats; having lost my mamma at a very young age, I developed a very strong mother/daughter bond with my aunt Edith. In fact, having her in my life always gave me that warm comforting feeling one might have with having a biological mother. We both loved literature. In fact, she was a literature teacher and I admired her passion. My aunt Edith passed a year before our wedding. That special seat at the very front should have been my aunt’s. As I stared at the crowd, my heart was breaking that my beloved aunt never got to watch me marry my Michael. It hurt real deep. Next to my grand mama should have been my grandpa. I was 12 when he passed; those empty seats hurt.
- Lost relationships; it’s been years; 10 to be exact and that has been long enough time that some faces in my wedding albums have become broken relationships. It is sad.
- Physical step to growth; as I went through our wedding photos, I couldn’t help but re- live how brave I must have been trusting my heart with someone. Choosing to trust the man in front of me not knowing what the future had for us but I am thankful that I did.
- God is indeed Gracious; looking around, I saw many faces and deep in my heart in knew that they were all there to celebrate us. To celebrate our love. Besides being God’s child, I know that there was nothing special about me that possibly brought everyone together on that day of our wedding. I thank God still for His love and grace.
- Appreciation for simple things in life; like many, we wanted our wedding to be perfect but also hoped to share this moment with the ones we loved. As I look through our photos, I notice yet again the minimal decor, the abundance of food and many familiar faces full of smiles. I wouldn’t trade this moment for any other.
As years go by, I know that perhaps I will continue to look through these beautiful photos. I will perhaps shed tears or rather smile. I know things and people will change opposed to what I have in our album. Perhaps some faces will become unfamiliar. I know for a fact our wedding day will never be a distant memory. We celebrate this day and each other every day. We are forever thankful for having had the opportunity of having this day in my grand mama’s yard. We are thankful for the family and friends that were present. We look back in celebration of the faces that have been laid to rest since that day. We rejoice in the fact that the vows we took on that day still hold a strong bond in our marriage. We are thankful again and again for the gift of life and that we are still able to look back on this day and feel all these emotions.
I continue to pray for God’s strength to lead me through the many seasons of life ahead of me/us as years go by as He did throughout our wedding day.
I pray that God’s grace will continue to be sufficient in my/our lives even when days/seasons in life get harder.
I pray that I/we will remember His sovereignty in everything as seasons (good or bad) go by.
I pray that I/we will never ever doubt God’s love for us despite the circumstances in this life.
God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble at its swelling.