Finances · marriage · Our Life

Marriage and Finances

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As we approach the holidays I can’t help but think about finances especially in Marriage. I know that this may be an elephant in the room around this time of the year and most would rather forget it until January when reality hits. We have been there and I know how that game goes. It’s sweet now but can turn sour come January when all the bills pile up.

My husband and I come from two very different understandings about finances. I was raised to depend on my dad as the provider of every $$ or shilling in my case. And my only job as a teenager was working for my dad.

When I needed money, I asked my dad. Don’t get me wrong, at times he gave it to me and many times he said no. So, I knew then and for a fact know now that money does not grow on trees. Even though my dad was an extremely hard working man, his rule was to completely provide for us as children as long as we lived under his roof.

My first contact with a credit card was after getting married to my beloved. In fact, I did not understand how credit cards worked until 6 months into our marriage after watching my groom make credit card payments that we had at the time.

I remember thinking; “I didn’t know that we had to make payments on this magic card”. At this point, it wasn’t as cool and magical as I thought.

I was raised in a debt free household thus never had the need to talk about debt and its effects.

So you can kinda see my take on money coming into my Marriage.

My groom on the other hand had jobs as a teenager, worked full time through college, thought he knew a thing or two about credit cards and the fancy all American debt; student loans, car loan, credit card loans.

And now as a married couple, we mashed everything into a beautiful mess; Financial mess. Our first 6 months of marriage were a learning experience for me as I got well acquainted with swiping the credit card and then the pain of making payments.

Even though we didn’t really argue over finances mainly because I was fine having my groom run them just like my father had done for me, we found ourselves totally broke without a financial plan.

With one glance at Mr. Ramsey’s Total money makeover, we were sold thus the start of a beautiful financial literacy as a couple. We grew in that way together;

  • Learned to budget.
  • Learned about money.
  • Learned to be patient.
  • Learned to prioritize.
  • Learned to value time in terms of money.
  • Got out of debt.
  • Learned to save.
  • Learned to enjoy our days without necessarily spending money.
  • Started saving for bigger future needs and wants.
  • Learned to be adults.

Money is beautiful but yet can be dangerous. It can stress us especially when we are sunk deep in debt.

Money can destroy the best of relationships including marriage relationships but yet can be avoided if we learn to plan diligently.

Money will not and can never bring us joy. From my experience now, true joy comes from the Lord and as a married couple, it’s very important to learn to seek the Lord together even as we are growing in other areas like financial literacy.

Money is good, but just like any other earthly acquisition it will come to pass. Let us remember to focus our hearts to that which can never perish; the living word of the Lord.

Hard work is a beautiful thing. Without complaining, let’s use the gifts that God has given us to work right where he has put us at whatever season of our lives.

Money like anything else in Marriage ought to be discussed in details.

Budgets are cool and they work!

P.S. Marriage is beautiful and its mystery is the simple equation that defies all math rules; 1+1=1. One in heart, one in love and one in all material things that we have been given including our finances. That union is far stronger than $$$…

God Bless

 

44 thoughts on “Marriage and Finances

  1. We had almost a year of premarital counseling with our pastor. One of the big issues we had was money. We had to work through it all with someone else before we got married. I have always been grateful for that experience. More young people should have the gift of such advice before marriage.

    1. Thank you Miss Elizabeth for the beautiful insight. I believe that as part of Marriage counciling, finances should be discussed in depth because as a couple, finances are an inavitable topic.

    1. There are many that have things to say about Dave Ramsey’s course but I always say that it worked wonders for my husband and I. They are simple common sense principals if one is willing to be patient.

  2. Great post! As people get married and get use to each other’s lifestyles, things can often come up that the two are unprepared for. I am happy to hear that you two were able to find your own financial plans and grow together.

  3. As someone who’s about to be married, we’re learning a lot of this the hard way and learning how important communication really is. Thank you for the insight!

  4. Great article! Its so interesting to see different perspectives on budgets. My husband and I had different definitions, but after many discussions learned to work together! Thank God. 🙂

  5. Money is a good tool if you have God’s idea on it applied. Everything in the Creation needs to go through formation-growing-completion. Just like plants, animals, humans, everyday things in our life also has to evolve – out way of using money as well.

    I’m not sure God has ever thought of ‘loans’ and ‘credits’ since true love is free from these concepts.

    Good writing!

    Have a Blessed Day!

  6. My husband and I just paid the last rent payment at our apartment for the last year. It was a beautiful apartment with an amazing view of the city, but we were struggling financially to actually pay for it. As a waitress, I have the ability to dictate my earnings (to a point), which is sometimes the only way we made it. Knowing I could go in to 3 shifts and walk out with, potentially, $300 was a crutch. One I regret forming because it made me think I could blow my money the first 2 weeks and then work like crazy the last 2 to get it done, or that my husband’s income would supplement. Looking back, I was very selfish and probably deprived my husband of several hours of sleep as he stressed about our financial position. I have grown up thinking you can not stress about financial woes, but they will resolve themself with hard work… While not entirely untrue, I knew not to stress because God would always persevere. We knew we would never be put in a position we couldn’t handle as long as God was the center of our relationship. Thank you for summing up the demon known as Money so eloquently. God bless you and your family.

  7. Very good read! In my case I learned it the hard way during our first two years of marriage and its even more difficult when you experience it first hand. Your post serves as a reminder where people can learn a lot about what to expect in handling finances especially when entering married life. Thanks for sharing this! Cheers! 😉

  8. Good post! I’m not married at the moment but can feel your pain having been through the same ordeal with my SO. We’re eye to eye in terms of our finances now 🙂

  9. Great post! My fiance and I have a very similar story. I’m from Hungary, we don’t use credit cards and my dad provided us everything he could. My fiance started to work young and grew up in America knowing a lot about car loan, student loan, etc… we are getting married and moving in together soon. I know it’s a difficult subject but I really hope we can make it work. We are both very organized so I try to be positive about it. Good luck with your blog!:)

  10. I agree completely. It is very important to seek the Lord in everything. It seems that money is spent faster than it is made! We have learned to be content with what we have. We have to remember that we are stewards of God’s money and if He can trust us with little then he can trust us with much. This can be hard at times living in a materialistic society. Thanks for sharing.

  11. This is a very insightful article into the world of marriage and finances. My fiancee and I are going to deal with this part of our life soon as we are getting married in a couple months. We are excited and I’m sure we will learn a lot more about one another just like you and your husband did!

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