As we approach the holidays I can’t help but think about finances especially in Marriage. I know that this may be an elephant in the room around this time of the year and most would rather forget it until January when reality hits. We have been there and I know how that game goes. It’s sweet now but can turn sour come January when all the bills pile up.
My husband and I come from two very different understandings about finances. I was raised to depend on my dad as the provider of every $$ or shilling in my case. And my only job as a teenager was working for my dad.
When I needed money, I asked my dad. Don’t get me wrong, at times he gave it to me and many times he said no. So, I knew then and for a fact know now that money does not grow on trees. Even though my dad was an extremely hard working man, his rule was to completely provide for us as children as long as we lived under his roof.
My first contact with a credit card was after getting married to my beloved. In fact, I did not understand how credit cards worked until 6 months into our marriage after watching my groom make credit card payments that we had at the time.
I remember thinking; “I didn’t know that we had to make payments on this magic card”. At this point, it wasn’t as cool and magical as I thought.
I was raised in a debt free household thus never had the need to talk about debt and its effects.
So you can kinda see my take on money coming into my Marriage.
My groom on the other hand had jobs as a teenager, worked full time through college, thought he knew a thing or two about credit cards and the fancy all American debt; student loans, car loan, credit card loans.
And now as a married couple, we mashed everything into a beautiful mess; Financial mess. Our first 6 months of marriage were a learning experience for me as I got well acquainted with swiping the credit card and then the pain of making payments.
Even though we didn’t really argue over finances mainly because I was fine having my groom run them just like my father had done for me, we found ourselves totally broke without a financial plan.
With one glance at Mr. Ramsey’s Total money makeover, we were sold thus the start of a beautiful financial literacy as a couple. We grew in that way together;
- Learned to budget.
- Learned about money.
- Learned to be patient.
- Learned to prioritize.
- Learned to value time in terms of money.
- Got out of debt.
- Learned to save.
- Learned to enjoy our days without necessarily spending money.
- Started saving for bigger future needs and wants.
- Learned to be adults.
Money is beautiful but yet can be dangerous. It can stress us especially when we are sunk deep in debt.
Money can destroy the best of relationships including marriage relationships but yet can be avoided if we learn to plan diligently.
Money will not and can never bring us joy. From my experience now, true joy comes from the Lord and as a married couple, it’s very important to learn to seek the Lord together even as we are growing in other areas like financial literacy.
Money is good, but just like any other earthly acquisition it will come to pass. Let us remember to focus our hearts to that which can never perish; the living word of the Lord.
Hard work is a beautiful thing. Without complaining, let’s use the gifts that God has given us to work right where he has put us at whatever season of our lives.
Money like anything else in Marriage ought to be discussed in details.
Budgets are cool and they work!
P.S. Marriage is beautiful and its mystery is the simple equation that defies all math rules; 1+1=1. One in heart, one in love and one in all material things that we have been given including our finances. That union is far stronger than $$$…