marriage · Our Life

Marriage after the wedding


I remember getting ready for my wedding day. The day that would be one of the best days of my life. The joy of being surrounded by the ones that love me especially being wedded in my grandma’s compound was a blessing.

I was excited to be married to my best friend and I couldn’t wait to live my life with him.

But what was that life that I couldn’t wait to live out with my groom if I may ask?

Well, if you are married and have had a wedding before, you may know the difference between being wedded and being married.

A wedding;

A wedding tends to be a smooth sailing mainly controlled by the bride “for the bride”. It’s all laughter and no tears mostly. It’s seeking perfection for the day; perfect dress, perfect food, perfect venue and perfect appearance. Everything is about us and nothing else matters in that moment.


Marriage is not a smooth sailing for a fact. It’s a continuous living of life in the raw. Two sinners under one roof. There are many new things to discover about ourselves and spouses, there are seasons of laughter and seasons of tears, there are sacrifices, there is sickness at times, disagreements too. There is forgiving and learning to forgive as well as understanding the humility to seek forgiveness from our spouses. In fact, everything is not just about us.

So, are we able to understand how to snap out of the wedding mode and dive into our marriages while embracing the good and bad that come with it?


Do we choose to refuse to accept the changes that comes with Marriage?

Do we easily give up when days are not as fluffy as our wedding day?

After that day; our wedding day, I hope and pray that we’ll continue to carry that same excitement into our marriages. Continue to feel like brides or perhaps grooms in case you are a man.

I hope and pray that as much thought and passion we put into getting ready for our wedding days, we will desire to do the same in our marriages.

I hope and pray thatย the hand that we were excited to hold and takeย our vows, we’ll know to hold and vow to keep when days in our marriage are not as perfect.

I hope and pray that as much as we sought the advice of the ones we trusted to get ready for our weddings, we will know to reach out for Godly counseling from the ones we trustย whenever we need it in our marriages.

I hope and pray that as much time we spent pouring into the details of our weddings, we’ll yearn to care about the little things in marriage days.

And most of all, I hope and pray that we’ll continue to understand that we are all sinners saved by God’s grace. We are all broken; living in a broken world that will fail us again and again but God who is all powerful and all-knowing is faithful to sustain us through our marriages. He is sovereign to help us live out marriages that are well pleasing to Him.

God bless.

63 thoughts on “Marriage after the wedding

  1. ” to be married to my best friend “…I believe that this is the most important thing for marriage. Marriages do not fall apart because of lack of love,but because of lack of friendship ๐Ÿ™‚ Great post

    1. Thank you Ben. Most definitely friendship in any Marriage is very important. Being able to enjoy one another as friends above the intimate relationship. But, it’s Christ alone that glues Marriage. Even friends can fail us but if we surrender our relationships to the Lord, He is able to bind, heal and sustain us.

  2. Thank you for this post. My husband and I have learned that it’s not 50/50 in a marriage – sometimes, it’s 80/20 – one gives more at times and then the other gives more at other times. With God’s help, the hopeful love on our wedding day becomes a strong, true bond as we learn and grow together in God’s grace.

    1. Growing together in God’s grace is very important in Marriage. You are very right Miss Dorissa; even though we come into marriages hoping for a 50/50, at times it’s 80/20 like you have mentioned but yet Christ is sovereign to sustain us and to help us grow into desiring to serve one another as seasons go by.๐Ÿ’๐ŸŒน

    1. You changed your photo Miss Janet๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ˜. Thank you very much for your constant input. You are absolutely right; the traditional wedding vows do cover everything we get to live out in our marriages over the years.

    2. I was one of the bridesmaids at my youngest sisters wedding. When they said their vows, I couldn’t help thinking how perfect and romantic those vows are. To promise each other to stay together through good and bad. There’s just no way to improve upon them. ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Thank you very much Miss Anne. 53 is beautiful; I hope and pray for life to be able to hold my beloved’s hand 53 years down the road. It’s only been 9 for us. I too knew little to nothing on our wedding day; I would say that I was more focused on “the day” over the years to come with my groom.

  3. This is wonderful! I love this. My wife and I have been married for than 30 years now! In fact we are about to have another wedding anniversary. And you’re right sometimes relationships are work, but always worth it. By the way we are also interracial. She is black, and I am white. So I can very much relate to your posts. Your blog is wonderful. Peace to you both.

    1. It’s always encouraging to see older couples that we can relate to in that way. I know times are different now compared to 30 years ago for mixed race couples. Thank you for always reading. I truly appreciate.

  4. We could not have remained married if Christ didn’t hold us together. Our pastor really stressed that the marriage was going to have three participants, Charlie, me and Christ. And that has proved blessedly true.

    1. Honestly I don’t think excluding Christ gets us anywhere. We need Him amidst our marriages. Thank you again Miss Elizabeth. I hope you are enjoying the cooler weather.๐ŸŒน

    1. This is beautiful! As a newlywed I love seeing the truth about marriage, weddings and vows. It’s so easy to get caught up in the wedding and forget the real accomplishment is the marriage!

      1. Congratulations upon getting married ๐ŸŒน. My groom and I have been married for over 9 years and I have to say that Marriage is beautiful. It takes constant work on ourselves as individuals. It requires tossing pride away. It blooms on a servant’s heart; not holding back on serving one another constantly. But most importantly, trusting Christ as the head in the Marriage gives it life; exactly the way it was designed to be by God. Remember never grow weary of forgiving over and over and over….. ๐ŸŒน

  5. This was wonderful!
    Marriage is hard. Some days are harder than others. Some days are going to be 50/50, some 80/20, some 110/0…that’s just how it is. But you have to be all in even when the going gets tough. I have had days I’ve thought about throwing in the towel out of anger or frustration, but that’s not how a marriage, or any relationship in life works. You don’t just get to throw in the towel when things aren’t all rainbows and sunshine.
    You’re perspective was great ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

    1. Essentially if two people are in love and are thinking about Marriage, personally as a Christian I believe it’s important to understand that they ought to be equally yoked beyond where they go to worship. But also when children come along, how are they to be taught?. All these are very important questions to think about and perhaps seek counseling before proceeding into Marriage. And if you are already married, these are things y’all need to work through together to decide. These are my humble opinions as a Christian but would suggest wisdom from a solid Christian pastor who will be able to give you Biblical advise out of love. ๐Ÿ’.

    1. Thank you Heather for sharing words of Wisdom. You are absolutely right, indeed the Bible is the only place where we can be instructed on how to live in every aspect of life. I know that for a fact. ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™

  6. Really enjoyed this post! I totally remember going through that thought process when I first got married too. The wedding was beautiful but marriage is what I have enjoyed the most. Thank you for sharing and reminding me of this! ๐Ÿ’™

  7. I agree, couples spend so much time planning the wedding, but not nearly enough time planning the marriage. Because there are always adjustments to be made in any marriage, and the relationship will also continue to grow and change, and therefore needs our attention. And the reward is a long-lasting marriage that is a gift to both people in it!

  8. What a great post thank you for sharing! I am also in a interracial marriage my wife is Hispanic and I am Caucasian. The greatest advice I have received about marriage is that we have to wake up each day choosing to love each other not feeling it because sometimes feelings come and go. Loved reading your post!

  9. Great read, I agree itโ€™s important to remember the marriage is just as important as the wedding.

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