marriage · Our Life

Loving my groom; Love


Mark 12:30-31

30 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ This may seem or perhaps sound obvious in a marriage relationship but I can rightfully say we fail at it constantly in pursuit of our personal expectations.

Being married a little over 9 beautiful years, I will say the practice of love as we are called to in scripture is and can be a challenge;

  • Learning to be Selfless.
  • Seeking my spouse’s satisfaction over mine.
  • Understanding they are human and not perfect.
  • Laying down my pride to serve them.
  • Forgiving again and again.
  • Thinking of my spouse’s needs before mine.

Truly putting love in action not once but many, many times without any expectations. 

I believe that as a married couple, we are like a needle and thread. None can work without the other. We truly need each other and the glue that keeps us closer is Love as Christ designed it.

Well, “I do love my spouse”.  We all say. “After all I am here and still married to them” right? I really don’t think so. Marriage is beyond just existing or rather co-existing. It’s active love for our spouse;

  • Affirming them.
  • It’s a kiss and a hug (even after 30+ years).
  • It’s simple complements here and there.
  • It’s communicating with respect for one another.
  • It’s a simple text. I know it’s easy to get caught up just texting our friends and forgetting that our best friend is our spouse. At least I believe they better be since we share a bed every night.
  • Men, open that car door for your bride.
  • Men still, hold that door for your bride. I don’t think women outgrow this simple yet heartwarming gesture of love.
  • Women, affirm our husbands’ strengths. I know for a fact that it’s a big love gesture when I affirm my groom. 
  • Learning to listen to one another. Caring about what the spouse has to say.
  • Giving each other undivided attention; I know. That seems like a scare or rather impossible since our cellphones have taken over every second of our lives. I would say, it’s very important to talk without cellphones in hand and most ​importantly, putting them away completely once in the bedroom. That is your time to enjoy your spouse away from the chaos.
  • Praying together and for one another. This has to be one of my favorite parts. Those moments when my husband and I lay in our bed Praying. He knows how to pray for me and I for him. We both know where to take our fears and worries. It’s daily a joy to see ourselves grow in knowing the Lord in whom our greatest Love is.
  • Intimacy; intimacy in any Marriage should be looked at as beautiful not a burden. By enjoying my spouse in that department, is being loving to him and the reverse is true.

Above all, we ought to remember that our spouses are human beings that will fail us many times. And they, like any other person we are called to love. 

Marriage may have its ups and downs but it’s a beautiful Union ordained by God. In it we are to exercise the love of Christ. Love and forgiveness. Above all, looking to God to guide and lead us and above all, be the center of our lives and marriages.

God bless.


22 thoughts on “Loving my groom; Love

  1. It reaffirms my belief that just because one signs the marriage contract,that one cannot now relax. NO,NOT AT ALL! Its continuous work like housekeeping,parenting and gardening to keep everything in good condition. 24/7!!! The moment you let go and take things for granted, you become oblivious to any potential beginnings of a problem. Nip it in the bud or prune it,using a gardening analogy. Happy anniversary to both of you!

  2. We were really helped by Gary Chapman’s books on the different love languages. It helped us see that different things feel loving to each of us. For instance, I feel most loved when my husband does things like wash the car. He feels loved by good food. Fortunately, I like to cook.

  3. “Intimacy; intimacy in any Marriage should be looked at as beautiful not a burden. By enjoying my spouse in that department, is being loving to him and the reverse is true.” Yes, this is very true and spouses should make sure they do not neglect intimacy.

  4. All good points here but i especially like that you included each growing in the Lord, singly and together as one flesh. If only one partner does this in a mariage it is better than neither, but it is more than twice as good if both do it and better still if you can do it both seperately and as one. ( You both have different needs as an individual and as a couple).


  5. So very true! It’s the little things in this life that make up the delightful whole. So easy to get caught up in all the ‘stuff’ and forget about what really matters. The little gestures, the putting of the other first. Great post!

    1. With Christ as the center, then we are able understand how to love one another selflessly. Congratulations on 20 years of marriage; that’s very beautiful. God is good indeed. 🌹

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