Our Life

Cancer; living with surgical scars

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It’s been 6 years since I had a liver resection as I have previously mentioned. My body has healed but yet still graced with a nice size scar along with little scars from draining of the fluid buildup in my belly. It’s hard to believe I was able to patiently go through that season.

Don’t get me wrong, I was no brave cat at all. I spent most of my days crying and scared. I was scared of the needles, scared of my body slowly and painfully fading away to the grave, scared of not having to be present for my children and husband. I was straight up terrified!

Back to the scars. So here I am, standing in front of my mirror staring at the scars that grace my entire belly and I know it’s hard to take in.

As a married person, we must agree that it’s pretty vulnerable to stand naked in front of someone else (our spouse). Even though it’s a beautiful act, it’s exposing ourselves completely; every physical flaw laid out for our spouse to see. This has been hard even though I am daily assured by my groom with love and kindness. So why feel so insecure with my physical being from my scars even though my groom is completely loving? I am a sinner; seeking physical perfection to please the eyes of my beloved. I am broken and lost in trying to perfect that which perishable.

Instead, I should long to be more like Christ, I should long to honor Him in whatever state I stand in; this body that is full of scars, I should long for the day that I will stand in the presence of my father; there I will be whole without a scar, I should long to know more about Christ and without shame speak of Him. My longing ought to change and for that I need God’s grace.

Lessons I have learned from my scars;

  • This body just holds my soul
  • Most definitely this shell will wither with time
  • Never to judge a book by its cover
  • Scars tell a story; I have mine in these scars
  • Scars are a clear symbol of a healed wound
  • If there’s a scar, there must have been pain
  • There’s beauty beyond scars says my groom
  • I long to be in God’s presence when that time comes; then I shall cease to have scars
  • Little by little God continues to bring us closer to Himself; that may be through these scars.

Lessons for my children;

  • True beauty is not from appearance
  • Life is a gift to be thankful for constantly. If we can still see our scars, that means we are alive. Just be thankful!

To my husband/my groom/my best friend, I thank you for continuing to point me to the truth in times that I have struggled with a body full of scars. Thank you for assuring me over and over.

Even though sometimes I still get caught up in how I look with these scars, I know God is sovereign to calm my anxious heart. I long for peace in Him, I long to be thankful daily, I long to see the beauty in which He created me beyond these scars.

P.S. – These are some products I have used to help with the scars of mine;

34 thoughts on “Cancer; living with surgical scars

  1. Odd isn’t it how our scars, inside and out, both make us more vulnerable and more aware of others’ fragility? To stand naked before another is indeed an act of love (when we do so freely) and potentially shameful. One gathers what courage one can, yes?

    1. That’s a beautiful way of looking at our aging bodies. Thankful for the years of carrying us. Through many seasons of life. Thank you Miss Elizabeth for your wisdom.πŸ’

  2. I love your courage to tell us about your fears…
    such lucky person you are that you have a family who loves you for who you are…
    You inspire me very much❀️

  3. Have you seen a dermatologist? I went to see one after I lost my hair from chemo and found a suspicious dot on my head. I have surgical scars and my dermatologist was able to recommend some cream – if nothing else, it softened the scars. You’ll always have scars, don’t let them define you, beyond saying how strong you are.

    1. Thank you my dear 🌼. No I have not seen any dermatologist. But my oncologist had made suggestions towards having a minor surgery to help; something I would never consider (my body has been through so much already). The vitamin E oil has helped me alot in terms of itching. I use coconut oil on a daily basis to keep up. Thank you very much for the words of encouragement. Hugs πŸ’ž. I hope and pray that your health is better too.

  4. So beautiful. “There is beauty beyond scars” I bet those scars remind him of God’s grace in allowing you to stay. Thanks for talking about the hard things! love you, sis! ❀

    1. I love you my dearest sister πŸ’. These scars do remind him and me of God’s grace. I know many have slept through a similar road. He has allowed me to live this life still. I thank Him for that and more daily.

  5. Our bodies can, with time, heal and repair all scarring but very few of us get through this life without ever having been scarred at some or many points. Those that might will probably not have learned all that much, or lived that much – certainly not compared to those who have them.
    As you say, scars tell a story – wear them with pride!

    Show this world it can scar you as much as it likes but it will not beat your spirit or cause your love to falter! πŸ™‚

    love.

  6. Beautiful post — you have such a way with words. Our bodies might not look as we like, but you’re so spot on in that they tell their own stories. ❀

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