I still remember that season of my life like it was yesterday. It was painful and exhausting. It was draining to me and the whole family. It is a season I would take back if I could. But again, I must say that God remained sovereign throughout and taught me to completely rely on Him. I realized yet again how powerless I was if I couldn’t depend on Him and how much I needed His Grace every second of this life of mine.
So, I have mentioned before that I had liver cancer that took me under the knife with a liver resection. However, due to the size of the tumor I needed to undergo a specific chemotherapy treatment that required me to lay still for four days straight! Yap still without a flinch practically because I had a catheter that went through my groin artery to the liver dripping the medicine directly. X-rays we’re taken a couple of times each day to make sure the catheter had not moved.
Cons of my chemotherapy;
- Getting the catheter through the groin was so scary since they numbed me but did not put me under. I got to watch the whole process involving tools I wish I hadn’t seen.
- The medicine made me extremely sick to my stomach. Literally every drop was miserable.
- Laying down still for four days was very painful.
- I had to use a bed pan with the help of the hospital nurses 100%. I have never felt more vulnerable.
- I couldn’t eat or drink because I completely lost my appetite. I am sure anyone would in this situation.
Pros of my chemotherapy;
- I got to be still for the first time in my life; since I was practically stuck in this bed, all I could do was listen to an audio Bible over and over.
- I got to be thankful for the gift of my legs.
- I was deeply humbled due to the fact that someone had to help me use the bathroom and also go to the extreme of wiping me. This in itself still brings me to tears. I am forever thankful for the gracious nurses that helped me through out.
- I got to thinking about what really matters in life. The little things that we already have.
- I decided to slow down. My groom and I became okay with doing nothing over our weekends; just sitting back and enjoy the moment. And that’s how most of our weekends run in our house hold.
- Picked up writing again. I have loved writing since I was a little girl. Being in that hospital bed sparked that passion again because I knew then that I wanted to tell my story, I wanted to say what I wanted to say to my babies while I still could. Beyond blogging, I have journals that I use to say things to my children. I pour out my heart to them. After all, I don’t know what tomorrow has in store for me.
- I became okay with accepting help; normally, I don’t like being helped. I prefer doing things on my own but being stuck in that hospital bed for days crashed that pride in me to letting others do for me what I couldn’t do at the time.
- Once again, I was reminded that this body of mine is just a shell that holds my soul. like grass, it will wither away in God’s timing; my body was withering in that moment even though I knew soul was well.
Despite my experiences at the hospital, there were also the chemotherapy effects on my physical being;
- Nausea.
- Sore spots all over my body; head, hands, mouth, and feet mostly.
- Loss of appetite.
- Hair loss.
- Feeling weak; completely weak.
- Lost taste with food; It didn’t matter what I tried to eat, I couldn’t taste it.
- My nails became weak.
- My skin broke out; I believe it’s from the level if toxic chemicals in the chemotherapy.
As I tell snippets of my cancer experience/my story, I hope that you do not feel pity for me. My hope and prayer is to encourage y’all to take care of your bodies and learn to slow down and be thankful for the little things in life. Again, for those that are still fighting, remember that God truly understands your pain and He is sovereign.
God Bless You
Rhythm In Life 
What an inspirational life you lead! Thank you for sharing. GBY!!
Thank you Susan. It’s been my joy sharing my life with many friends here on WordPress.💞
I agree, I found it highly motivational. You are to be commended, not pitied.
Thank you Sir.
Thank you for sharing your “snippets” with us, God has accompanied you to hell and back Blessing you every minute along with way. We all have and AWESOME God looking after us! Grace and PEACE.
We have a great God indeed!. Thank you very much Sir.
I feel the force within you. Thanks for sharing your story with us. Love x
Thank you 💞
Your list of pros of chemotherapy made me cry. How wonderful to be able to grasp on to peace and thankfulness from within a terrible storm. Thank you for sharing this.
I didn’t intend to make you cry 💝. It’s absolutely my joy to be able to share my life. I just pray that some one will be encouraged.
Thank you for sharing this painful time of your life. I have a friend who is going through this now and it gives me insight into what she must be going through. It also rings loud in my ears that we are powerless- all of us. Thank you! And btw you are beautiful even without hair!!!
Thank you Patricia. My love and prayer to your friend. Through my own journey, I now know how to honestly pray for my sick friends. I believe it’s important to trust that even amidst pain, God loves us still. 💞
Thank you for the prayers. She is using her circumstance to glorify God like you have done. I will make it a prayer for her to know God’s love for her in deeper ways. Thank you for the wisdom ❤️
Your are truely inspirational… A salute to you🤗
Your are an asset to our WordPress family and believe me we all have lots of respect and love for you😊😊
Thank you very much for your kindness. I have found a family here on WordPress and for that I am forever thankful.
Yaa.. we are family 😊.. Never feel weak we are always to support🤗
God bless you. I pray for speedy recovery. Analysing the lives of people I know about, I find the dreaded disease does’t discriminate between the good, the bad, the pious or the wicked. All have suffered from the fury of this disease
Thank you my friend.
Thank you for sharing. I love that there are so many more pros than cons and that they’re more permanent. Your cons, I hope will be temporary. 💗
Thank you very much Luccia💝
Some lessons seem more powerful than other lessons and this was one of them. Some people seem to just depend on God with no problem and some of us have to be made to see our dependence on him before we learn the powerful truth of His sovereignty. Bless you for sharing your difficult journey.
Thank you very much 💝. I have personally had to learn to trust God the hard way. It seems to me like I had to be again a dead end path to truly Trust. I had no other option but to Trust in the one that understands everything about me.
Thank God for you. Amazing
Thank you my dear 💝
Awe-Inspiring!
Thank you Jamila. Hugs💝
Beautiful testimony!
Thank you Gail 💞
Thanks for sharing. I myself is a cancer suvivor. Your story reminds me of mine.. having a chemotherapy in 2002. I am very grateful to my family and friends who gave me a complete support during my battle with ovarian cancer. Keep fighting and stay healthy. God bless you.
Thank you my dear 💝
God is good…all the time!
Great testimony of your journey!
God is good indeed!
You are amazing. And God in you is amazing! Thank you for telling your story. I need to remember to live each day to the fullest & to be thankful too.
Thank you very much my dearest sister. God is sovereign, He is sovereign and I am thankful every day for His Grace.
Thank you for sharing your experience and the lessons you learned from your cancer journey.
It’s been my joy to be able to share. I just hope and pray that someone out there will know that they are not alone.
Thank you! “My hope and prayer is to encourage y’all to take care of your bodies and learn to slow down and be thankful for the little things in life.”
Thank you very much Barbara.💝
Thanks so much for sharing your story. I’m sure it will give hope and encouragement to others.
Thank you very much Peggy 💝
Really inspiring! Thank you.
Thank you very much Sir.
I admire your courage!! Sounds like a horrible ordeal!
Any courage in me has been by God’s grace. I have crumbled before but then realized my only hope and strength was to Trust the one that knows me; Christ. 💝
In glad you can see the pros of an unpleasant situation.
Thank you David. Definitely there were many lessons taken. But I am forever grateful.
Continue feeling better
Thank you David.
Thank you for sharing Susan, very inspirational. I hope your day is a happy one! 🙂
Telling the truth is not begging for sympathy. It is sharing reality, and I very much appreciate your posts.
Thank you Elizabeth and I am very thankful for you. I admire your character and your heart. I hope you had a wonderful mother’s day.💝🌹
I did, followed by a terrific 70th birthday.
Happy birthday 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹.
God Bless You.
thank you for sharing your story. I am a survivor ( 17 years) of colorectal cancer. Life is good. I told someone today that as they wheeled me into the operating room I turned it over to God and I knew I had a room filled with invisible saints and spirits that were with me to help me while I was “out” for the seven and a half hours of surgery. It is great to be alive and I give thanks every day.
Hey I nominated you for the Blue Sky Tag https://poetry2473.wordpress.com/2017/05/19/blue-sky-tag/. I’d love for you to participate but it’s totally your choice.
Ty for sharing 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
You are welcome my dear 💝
Wish you strong health
Thank you my friend 🙏
Bless you and thank you for sharing. Your strength is encouraging.
Thank you so much my dear 💝
Sending much love and blessings your way. Thank you for sharing your story. God Bless.
Yeah.beliefs in God is alone way to bear every pain.God bless everyone.
4days…this is such long time dear… I ve re-read again and again…I love this post! It is so motivating and encouraging ❤️
Thank you for sharing! God bless you, too!
You are amazing Susan. I mean you have to be for one cannot be so strong like you are. May god bless you always and bless you with a long and healthy life. Much love 🙂
I love Chukki and I am thankful to have met you through WordPress. Many hugs my dearest 💝
Aww Thank you Susan. I love you too 🙂
I hear your testiment of God’s grace when I read your snippets, and I hope you keep writing! btw, I love that picture! You are so beautiful! ❤
I love you my dearest sister 💝. A “stalking” friend took that photo without my permission. Friends are amazing like that 🤓
Thank you Susan, we should indeed all be thankful for those times we choose to, or are sometimes forced to, take time out from our daily routine life. It is in these times (particularly the forced uncomfortable ones such as yours) that we can better see how the trivialities can tend to become a major force in our life and how this can pull us away from the truly important things. It can also help us see how important something that we might think of as trivial is – to us, and to God. Things like being able to walk freely, or live without pain/injury, or to just simply spend time alone in His company and listening to what He has to say while there is little else to interrupt us from hearing His voice and what He can teach us about how to live our life. 🙂
God Bless.
love.
Amen. Beautifully written and lived. You are so right. We are only passing through this life on our way to heaven. God bless you, may Jesus heal you, and thank you for the inspiration.
Thank-you very much again Stephanie. God is indeed sovereign.