Loving my groom; without borders.


Loving my groom” is a phrase I like to use in my marriage because the man by my side is mine. Mine to love, mine to support, mine to encourage, mine to dream with, mine to share life with or perhaps mine to nag, build or break, mine to laugh and cry with. So the choice is in my hands. Wives, we really do have that much power in our spouses’ days. But of course we ought to remember that despite everything, we are not God. Ultimately He has the final say in everything that happens in our marriages.

Looking back at Genesis 2:18-24. A woman is flesh from her man. And yet also the power she has is stunning! Despite the fact that God had clearly instructed Adam not to eat the forbidden fruit according to Genesis 2:15-17, Adam allowed to get tempted by Eve into disobeying God. This in itself should be good enough example to convict us as wives to seek to encourage our grooms to obey instead of disobeying.

Putting him before myself. As stated in Philippians 2:3. As wives, we ought to strive to put our grooms before ourselves and I believe the vice versa is true for the good of a marriage that seeks to honor God

Ephesians 5:33. Respect, respect, respect. I cannot stress this attribute loud enough. I have mentioned it before, it seems like respecting my groom in today’s world view is mistaken for a weakness of character. No it’s not! I love and respect my groom because God calls me to do just that as His wife/bride. My groom is called to love and respect me as well, but whether he chooses to obey what scripture tells him to do or not is out of my control. That is between him and God. I will still love and respect him regardless.

Letting my groom know how I feel. Definitely this implies talking to my groom. Opening up to my groom is wonderful so he can know how to best serve/love me and the vice versa is true. That person who shares a bed with me ought to not be a stranger in any way. I know them and they know me. The bad, the good, the heavy or light.

Being forgiving in our marriage. As stated in Romans 3:23 that all have sinned and fallen short of His glory, implies that even my groom is a sinner just as much as I am. We both will stumble at some point or perhaps even fall. If we are repentant towards one another, there’s is no cause to not forgive. After all my groom is mine to love and yes if I love him I will be quick and willing to forgive him and the vice versa is true.

Letting my guard down; When we come into marriage, there’s so much adjusting that happens. For instance, learning to fully trust this man before me and refusing to let my previous mistrust fall upon him. This is a fact with me. Trusting was something new and I definitely had to let my guard down and believe that my groom would not intend to hurt me in any way. More to that was fully letting him into my world of fears and hurt from the past that way he would understand my guard and how to help me put it off as years go by in our marriage. It’s been beautiful for us because my groom knows how to best love and pray for me in this regard. I believe that by letting my guard down, I am loving my groom/husband and the reverse is true.

Romancing my groom without comparison. If you love reading romance novels like I do, there can be a tendency to desire to see our groom fit into that imaginary romantic guy from a novel. No they are not that character that probably never existed. My groom may never be the kind to pick me wild flowers on his way home from work, but perhaps he does buy a bouquet for our anniversary. He may not be the one to take me on picnic lunches out in the open field but perhaps does take me out for a special dinner every other weekend. He may not be the one to write down his heart on paper (just the way I fantasize), but reminds me every moment he gets of how precious I am to him and that I am able to see in his eyes. And the list goes on and on. Let your groom be and not what you read in a novel. Just love him for him and vice versa.

I am a wife and therefore speak from a wife’s heart who is daily seeking to honor God through my marriage in this season of life. But also believing that husbands/groom’s are called to love and respect their wives. To serve them just as much as they serve you. To daily take the lead in knowing their hearts and their needs. To care for them as tenderly as precious jewels from God. To love them beyond borders, to daily seek to put them first and yes to protect them as part of their own flesh.

Once again, trusting God as the foundation of our marriage, casting our pride to the side, going in with all our hearts, ready to honor the author of this bond, tirelessly loving and loving and not giving way to what the world has to say on their take about what marriage should look like. God’s way is the only way.

Being married for almost 9 years, i continue to learn and perhaps there are other ways you love your groom or bride without borders according to scripture. I am a wisdom seeker and would love to learn from you.

Stay blessed ๐ŸŒน

38 thoughts on “Loving my groom; without borders.

  1. ‘…love your groom or bride without borders’ – that is a wonderful thought, Susan. I love mine without limitations too. You are right, it is not a sign of weakness to respect your groom. But oodles of love and affection for making life a wonderful journey x

    1. It’s not just for the Bride’s. Infact husbands ought to take the lead in this but being I wife, I choose to speak for myself. I believe as a married couple, we are not enemies in a battlefield trying to prove who is meaner. It’s working together for the good of us both. Thank-you lovely for your insight ๐Ÿ’“

  2. As we age, as we have in our marriage, we really get to see our spouse stand with us in sickness and in health, as we promised. I am so appreciative that my husband sticks by me through real trials. I hope I will do the same if he has to go through ones.

    1. “Sink or swim” together is a good way. I think sometimes our guys hope/desire for us to trust or perhaps believe in their leadership. I believe it crashes a man when as wives we refuse to let them do. Thank-you Jessica โค

  3. Beautiful post! Thank you for sharing the ways you (wisely) choose to honor your husband, your marriage, and ultimately, the Lord. Keep spreading this precious message of hope! ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. A distant friend quoted a friend of hers, “I pray to forgive my husband while he is still speaking.” Evidently, he could upset her easily and constantly. I’m grateful I am not in her shoes.

  5. Wonderful post! Words of Wisdom that should be given to each new bride. Words to be kept in the nightstand drawer, taped to the bathroom mirror, and hung on the refrigerator so they are easily accessible for each moment of our day. Thank you!

  6. This is beautiful, my girlfriend gave me a book: ‘This momentary marriage’ and reading this blog, i am only wiser on how i should love her, we are not yet married, but we make plans to get married when we are done with school. I however seek to live and to love her jsut as i will and plan to when we are married, therefore i do it now because i know i shall not learn how to then, but i can do it now and grow to be the perfect husband i hope to be for her…this is also for the men…Ephesians tells us to love our wives as much as we love our bodies(when you marry, in Gods eyes you are one)….i am so blessed that you followed me…it is by Gods good will that you did…he wanted to make me wiser..and here we are…thank you. Bless you immensely..

      1. ooo….i noticed you are from uganda..i too we need this in our very own country..this kid of understanding of Love from a biblical perspective. How many future families would be saved from the ruin of earthly style love….so many would be saved. Satan has surely suceeded in destroying the word and meaning of true beautiful love in the hearts of young people and it now seems to sound like hopelessness…thank God for the bible and the truth…but we need to get more people reading so they can understand it…

      2. That’s wonderful. My mama lies there. So it will always be home. Beyond anything, everybody ought to have their foundation in Christ; including marriage. Thank-you again.

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