Our Life

Am I my groom’s keeper?

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The answer to being my groom’s keeper as his wife is absolutely yes. As a unit, we hold each other accountable and most definitely look out for each other’s best interests. Also given the fact that when we get married we become one body, so most definitely my groom being part of me and me part of him, I ought to take care of him as I would myself.

On the other hand too, my husband/groom is my neighbor and I ought to love him in that regard just as scripture says I should love.

Mark 12:31 “The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these”.

So often I hear wives say phrases like; “I am not his mother to do such and such for him”. Ah….Well, I believe your groom and yourself know very well that you are not his mother but his wife/companion that he or rather whom you married out of love. And I am sure if all he needed was a mother, there would have been no need to marry a wife. Agree?

As wives/brides to our husbands, we need to know that indeed we are the only ones that can provide most of what our husbands/grooms need in terms of physical and emotional needs and the reverse is true. So yes, they need us in that regard. Perhaps broken down would consist of;

  • Intimacy; We all like to talk around/on the outskirts of this subject and forget that being intimate is indeed one of the main components in marriage. Whether we want to agree or not, our spouses do need that from us and the reverse is true. And perhaps continuous denial in this area can cause stress in a marriage. Believe me, it’s taken quite some time to learn this lesson myself. Indeed as bride, I am completely my groom’s and him mine.

1st Corinthians 7:3-5”The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control”.

  • Spiritual encouragement. This can be as simple as reminding my groom to read his Bible, praying for him and with him, encouraging him to go to church and most definitely like you would to a friend. Reminding him Of God’s grace and sovereignty (we can write Scripture verses to tuck in their lunch bug). Let these be the “love notes”. Being the spiritual leaders, our grooms need constant prayer from us.
  • Trying or perhaps seeking to stay positive. By seeking out to create a smile on his face, I am letting my groom know that he absolutely does matter to me and yes he is a special person beyond myself and most definitely I am being his keeper in that regard. I believe though that all our joy comes from the Lord.
  • Doing his laundry and cooking; why should we think that doing laundry for the man I love/my groom is setting myself out to be his mother? I do it because I love him and I desire to take that worry off him as his wife, best friend and partner. Remember, like I have said before, we are a unit that ought to work together for the good of our family. And yes, my groom could choose to do the laundry (in this case mine is very good at it). But in our marriage, I prefer to do it as an act of showing him that I care of and love him above and beyond the washing machine. Is it loving him less if I don’t do the laundry?….I don’t think so but I honestly believe as a wife, it’s a kind and loving act to do for my groom.
  • Understanding his world as a guy as he seeks to understand mine as well. A good example would be my husband’s obsession with cars; the classics (we thankfully don’t own one yet). To me a car is a car and honestly unless it just doesn’t work I cannot tell the difference. But the point is if I see a good car magazine I am okay buying it only for my groom or perhaps when he rounds up our two little ones to watch car shows, I cheer him on. Not because I am into cars at all, but because I love my groom and I desire to see him lost in the joy of doing something he absolutely loves apart from me. I have so many other examples of things I have allowed to be part of just for the love of my groom.

All in all, in today’s world marriage or the submission to husbands as wives is highly looked down upon. It’s an argument that humanly speaking I wouldn’t want to get involved in. Husbands do also have their duties as clearly stated in scripture and you bet they are keepers of us too but that is yet another whole topic to talk about. What i do as a wife is not defendant on whether my husband/groom does what he has been called to do. That is between him and God as the fulfillment of my duty is between me and God. We must remember that our whole purpose in this life is to love and obey God wherever He has placed us. We will often fail, some days may even be hard but Christ knows it all for he knows everything “hidden” in our hearts. We are our grooms’ keepers as part of one body united by God.

Ephesians 5:22-33”Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband”.

10 thoughts on “Am I my groom’s keeper?

  1. I love this part of your post:

    What I do as a wife is not dependent on whether my husband/groom does what he has been called to do. That is between him and God as the fulfillment of my duty is between me and God. We must remember that our whole purpose in this life is to love and obey God wherever He has placed us.

    So many times, we as people are looking to blame someone for what we do not do, follow or obey in our lives. Little children begin this very early. It does not matter what someone else is doing, our job is to do what we know is correct. Proverbs 31:10-31 gives excellent instruction for me to follow as a woman. It does not make me less than my husband, it gives me goals to excel in the role I have been given as a woman and wife.

    Another great post and I pray that there are young women reading your posts and receiving guidance and encouragement from them. God’s way is so much better than the world’s way!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Awe sis. Until we are all in God’s presence, we need daily encouragement in every aspect of our lives. We all need each other but most importantly, we need God’s word to guide us. Yes I do love my husband very much; He is not perfect though and I have to constantly remember that. I am accountable for my own sin and my obidience to God is not dependent on how he lives or in that case not dependent on the way anyone chooses to treat me. Much love my dearest sister.

    Like

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